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  An anxious person often tries to control external circumstances to avoid confronting difficult emotions such as distrust, perfectionism, competition, or the need for control. When external control fails, the uncomfortable anxiety can be a catalyst for inner reflection. Unfortunately, most doctors may not encourage this introspection, opting instead to prescribe a pill or treatment. Acknowledging issues related to control, trust, perfectionism, or competition can help break free from the anxiety trap. 

Depression serves the purpose of slowing things down. When a person experiences failure, loses their status or feels powerless or hopeless, depression helps process and resolve these emotions. It allows the mind and body to slow down and reflect. If you look inward, depression can be constructive, helping you gain clarity or providing a break from the pressures of competition.

Ruminating during depression can lead to self-reflection and understanding. Asking yourself why you feel the way you do helps uncover the subconscious, including secondary gains like getting attention, taking a break, or avoiding responsibility. These secondary gains offer a temporary retreat that allows you to process feelings and figure things out. Evolutionarily, depression provided a passive-aggressive way to deal with authority and anxiety, guiding us toward healing.

Life stresses and addictions often trigger depression, and buried emotions are at the root of these stressors. Examples include changing schools, experiencing a breakup, losing a job, or failing to meet a goal. Depression helps us see things more clearly by removing false optimism and allowing us to face reality with a more accurate perspective.

Ruminating, while often seen negatively, can help shift overwhelming, permanent fears into manageable, temporary situations. When I do this work, I thank depression for its purpose, necessity, and healing power. Suppressing emotions with pills or blame only leads to being stuck, making depression destructive.